Second Marriage and Merging Families
Shortly after writing my last post, which seems like so long ago, I began dating someone. We are now fairly close to celebrating two years of marriage. I would like to say that everything has been wonderful, but you all would know that this simply can't be because life often throws the less than wonderful at us.
It has been wonderful to have someone by my side through all of the moments. We can pray for each other, encourage each other, talk through things together, and trust God together. That is a blessing!
With most of our children grown, you might think that merging the two families would be easy. But, it isn't always. From parenting styles to music preferences, there has been a lot of give and take. One thing I know, I love my husband, my children, and my husband's children and our grandchild with my whole heart. I know my husband loves me, his children, my children, and our grandchild with all of his heart. And, love never fails.
What has happened in the past two years? Hold on! We each had a son graduate high school. We each had a son, same sons, join the military. We traveled all over the place supporting these two boys. Fun? Yes! But, even these times were not without stressors. Combining families for the celebrations can be difficult at times. But, our focus was on the one we celebrated, and they were all events to celebrate. We had two high school graduations and two boot camp graduations all in a matter of one year's time that took us to Phoenix, South Carolina, and San Diego, and one in Iowa too.
Over the past two years, we have moved, more than once! When we were first married, we had two homes in two states. I sold my home, but we didn't want to make the move to Wisconsin until my middle child graduated. So, my mother graciously let us live with her for a while. This was a wise financial decision and a blessing, but it wasn't always easy. Then, when my daughter and I moved states, there were so many emotions. I had lived in the Des Moines area for 43 years. It was all my daughter knew too. And my two sons kept doing what they were already doing; one was in college and one was in the military and working. This move meant seeing less of them. I'm adjusting to that change still, but I know many who make that adjustment when children turn adults. It is just more "normal" for a child to move rather than the parent. But, the drive isn't too long, and I soak up the texts, calls, and FaceTime moments.
Upon moving to Wisconsin, we truly combined families. When my daughter and I moved to Wisconsin, we joined my husband's daughter and granddaughter under the same roof. This has actually been a wonderful experience but not without a few challenges. Having a sweet, little four year old freely hug and welcome everyone was the perfect transition to blending families. I seriously have the most adorable and precious granddaughter.
Shortly after the move, we decided to sell our Wisconsin house and build. Fresh start. New memories. Of course, this required selling another home. We bought land, rented a house, and began to build. Did we choose this? Yes. Are we glad we did? Yes. Was it all easy? No. I have moved six times in four years. That's a lot of moving! I'm sure there are plenty of people that have moved even more, and we have always had somewhere to call home. In saying that, I know that this not true for everyone. Not everyone has a safe place to call home.
Another change... we both went back to school. Why? I'm not entirely sure. Maybe it's because we wanted to hit all of the main stressors in a life all at once. In all seriousness, my husband has wanted to get his MBA for years. I have wanted to finish my bachelors degree for years. So, we decided to do it together. Always easy? You know the answer.
We got the news that my mom has stage IV cancer. After losing my father at the young age of 62 to cancer, this was hard news. I mean, really, cancer is just a hard word to hear. My mom is battling it all with grace. There are a lot of prayer warriors fighting along side her. She always declares the goodness of the Lord, and I agree whole heartedly. But again, it's another big life challenge.
If you know me, or have read my blog posts before, you know I like to write songs. I recently wrote one after getting the news about my mother.
Carry Me Through
Another change...with the move to Wisconsin, I started a new job. I love my job, but it is demanding and sometimes overwhelming. Does it seem like I'm doing what God wants me to do? Yes. Always easy? Absolutely not. I work for Habitat for Humanity, and I'm seeing first hand the need in our area. Not everyone has a safe place to call home.
There are times when everyone gets along. There are times when we are selfless, forgiving and kind. Then, there are times when we aren't. My goal? My aim? My purpose? It is to continue to live surrendered to Christ and live in step with His Spirit. When I stumble, when I sin, when I become self-absorbed, what do I do? I repent and start again knowing that His mercies are new every morning. I pray that I can reflect Him more consistently, more faithfully... and trust that He will complete the work that He has begun in me and in those I love.
1 Thessalonians 5:23-24, "May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it."
When I look back at the last two years, I am so amazed at how God has grown our relationship in marriage and blending families through all of the life changes. My husband and I are both so careful to protect the gift that God has given us in each other. Life is messy. Life is full of unexpected twists and turns that bring about both the easy and the hard, the happy and the sad. Through it all, I pray that my life brings glory to God.
Here's a preview of our home still in progress:
It has been wonderful to have someone by my side through all of the moments. We can pray for each other, encourage each other, talk through things together, and trust God together. That is a blessing!
With most of our children grown, you might think that merging the two families would be easy. But, it isn't always. From parenting styles to music preferences, there has been a lot of give and take. One thing I know, I love my husband, my children, and my husband's children and our grandchild with my whole heart. I know my husband loves me, his children, my children, and our grandchild with all of his heart. And, love never fails.
What has happened in the past two years? Hold on! We each had a son graduate high school. We each had a son, same sons, join the military. We traveled all over the place supporting these two boys. Fun? Yes! But, even these times were not without stressors. Combining families for the celebrations can be difficult at times. But, our focus was on the one we celebrated, and they were all events to celebrate. We had two high school graduations and two boot camp graduations all in a matter of one year's time that took us to Phoenix, South Carolina, and San Diego, and one in Iowa too.
Over the past two years, we have moved, more than once! When we were first married, we had two homes in two states. I sold my home, but we didn't want to make the move to Wisconsin until my middle child graduated. So, my mother graciously let us live with her for a while. This was a wise financial decision and a blessing, but it wasn't always easy. Then, when my daughter and I moved states, there were so many emotions. I had lived in the Des Moines area for 43 years. It was all my daughter knew too. And my two sons kept doing what they were already doing; one was in college and one was in the military and working. This move meant seeing less of them. I'm adjusting to that change still, but I know many who make that adjustment when children turn adults. It is just more "normal" for a child to move rather than the parent. But, the drive isn't too long, and I soak up the texts, calls, and FaceTime moments.
Upon moving to Wisconsin, we truly combined families. When my daughter and I moved to Wisconsin, we joined my husband's daughter and granddaughter under the same roof. This has actually been a wonderful experience but not without a few challenges. Having a sweet, little four year old freely hug and welcome everyone was the perfect transition to blending families. I seriously have the most adorable and precious granddaughter.
Shortly after the move, we decided to sell our Wisconsin house and build. Fresh start. New memories. Of course, this required selling another home. We bought land, rented a house, and began to build. Did we choose this? Yes. Are we glad we did? Yes. Was it all easy? No. I have moved six times in four years. That's a lot of moving! I'm sure there are plenty of people that have moved even more, and we have always had somewhere to call home. In saying that, I know that this not true for everyone. Not everyone has a safe place to call home.
Another change... we both went back to school. Why? I'm not entirely sure. Maybe it's because we wanted to hit all of the main stressors in a life all at once. In all seriousness, my husband has wanted to get his MBA for years. I have wanted to finish my bachelors degree for years. So, we decided to do it together. Always easy? You know the answer.
We got the news that my mom has stage IV cancer. After losing my father at the young age of 62 to cancer, this was hard news. I mean, really, cancer is just a hard word to hear. My mom is battling it all with grace. There are a lot of prayer warriors fighting along side her. She always declares the goodness of the Lord, and I agree whole heartedly. But again, it's another big life challenge.
If you know me, or have read my blog posts before, you know I like to write songs. I recently wrote one after getting the news about my mother.
Carry Me Through
Another change...with the move to Wisconsin, I started a new job. I love my job, but it is demanding and sometimes overwhelming. Does it seem like I'm doing what God wants me to do? Yes. Always easy? Absolutely not. I work for Habitat for Humanity, and I'm seeing first hand the need in our area. Not everyone has a safe place to call home.
There are times when everyone gets along. There are times when we are selfless, forgiving and kind. Then, there are times when we aren't. My goal? My aim? My purpose? It is to continue to live surrendered to Christ and live in step with His Spirit. When I stumble, when I sin, when I become self-absorbed, what do I do? I repent and start again knowing that His mercies are new every morning. I pray that I can reflect Him more consistently, more faithfully... and trust that He will complete the work that He has begun in me and in those I love.
1 Thessalonians 5:23-24, "May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful, and he will do it."
Here's a preview of our home still in progress:
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